I’ve been feeling off lately.

Maybe it’s because I’m on a diet and I hate to diet, but I call BS on that.

I’ve been IGNORING my darkness for too long.

We all have some things to deal with.

I’m good at burying mine, but it came to a head on the long weekend and I lost my cool.

I’m sure you can relate.

Most of us share our highlight reel online, and leave the raw and real stuff bottled up.

But I’m tired of that.

Becoming a dad this past fall changed my life. But I didn’t embrace the role at first.

I felt like I needed to be this perfect husband, father and provider and show no chinks in my armor

But I chose to bury myself in work, and escape the responsibilities

Hell, we didn’t really need the money

But I started spending longer and longer working hours

I could say it was because I wanted to provide, but it was just as much a way to avoid fatherhood

I was lying to myself.

And when I was home?


On the phone, on Facebook, distracted thinking about training and business

There’s this old school paternalistic view that says men should be emotionless drones who work to provide, get up early and stay late at the office and grind

But that’s BS.

Many of us are fulfilled by work – I don’t dispute that – but you can provide and still be a great father or mother

Don’t lose sight of what truly matters

Sure, kids want the latest toys. Toys don’t buy themselves. You need to work to earn.

But what they’ll care about most is how you were there to take in the fun with them.

Be present.

Get off the phone (I’ll keep having to remind myself this) and enjoy those special moments, because they’re gone tomorrow.

Even if you don’t have kids, be present with your loved ones and friends. Don’t even bother being there if your mind’s in another place.

Your responsibility is to lead a life of good examples

SHOW them how to exercise and eat right
SHOW them what it means to be a good citizen and contribute to society
SHOW them how to love and respect a woman (or man)
SHOW them how to take control of their lives and live it on their terms

I’ve been so focused on ‘providing’ financial support, when really the emotional support fell by the wayside

Are you living your greatest life on your terms or one manufactured for you?

P.S. I’ll have a 30 day challenge opportunity for you next week. If you’ve been considering making a change, but only want to dip a toe in the water to start, this will be the one and only time to try. This will be free for current clients and very affordable for non.

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Mitch Calvert is a Winnipeg-based fitness coach for men and women like his former self. Heavyset in his 20s, he lost 60 pounds and now helps clients find their spark and lose the weight for life.